My. Winter. Insomnia.

I don’t know if it’s the weather, but I find that I’m sleepy all day and then can’t stay asleep at night. I go to bed at 9pm, wake up anywhere between two and three in the morning, and then can’t go back to sleep.

I end up on my phone playing the latest Wordle followed by several NY Times crossword puzzles. Anyone with a sensible mind would tell me that’s the wrong thing to do. I know it. But I can’t help myself. I’m not one of those people who can just sit in the dark with my eyes closed until sleep inevitably comes for me.

After a few rounds of cross-wording, I yawn, and I think “this is it, I’m about to knock out.” I put my phone away, pull the blankets over my head and bam, I’m wide awake again. Good grief! I fight the urge to pick up my phone. I think about reading a book, but I don’t want to turn on a light.

I rearrange furniture in my head. I visualize the items on my to-do list. I end up googling things like “how to eat slower,” and “why can’t I sleep.” I have to pee, but I don’t want to get up because my dogs will hear me and they’ll think it’s their cue to jump on the bed.

I go pee anyway and I hear the pups stirring. I politely ask them to go their beds and they wait a few seconds to make sure I’m serious. They get to their beds and turn around one last time to make absolutely sure. It breaks my heart because I really do want to snuggle, but I know I’ll end up not being able to move my legs. I listen to their sad little sighs until they start snoring and then I envy them.

I read the news and then I think “why did I just read the news?” Two yawns definitely signal sleepiness. Phone away. Eyes closed. Mind reactivated. WTH?!?!

I get up and make myself a hot tea. I test my ability to navigate my home in complete darkness and curse when I trip over a dog toy or a shoe (why the fffff). I compose myself and continue my journey to the kitchen and back to the room, tea in hand. I take a max of three sips. I close my eyes and attempt a meditation while Ralph and the dogs snore. I think to myself “why don’t I get up and do something productive?”

This was the key all along. My body protests by bringing on the sleep I’ve so desired just as the morning light highlights the borders of my bedroom curtains. I’m out. Best sleep of my life for 30 minutes. Time for work.


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