We took the flyaway shuttle from union station to LAX and Ralph’s nuts went flying. Not those nuts, cochinos! He had a bag of almonds and cashews that didn’t pass the speed bump test and it sounded like someone poured out a bag of marbles. Your girl was chuckling her little head off, and I’d post a picture, but Tia Ralph wasn’t having it.

Nope, didn’t get the free upgrade to first class, but we actually had quite a bit of leg room in our assigned seats, so I’m not gonna complain. Brought my laptop, so that I could easily churn these blogs out and then forgot the charger. Womp womp! Thumbs, take the wheel.

We didn’t sleep very much on the flight, which resulted in zombie-like behavior that neither of us was expecting. We thought we could rally, so we visited Eataly (an Italian marketplace), but it wasn’t in full swing yet. Ralph was disappointed that he couldn’t get a panini at 9 in the morning. I was disappointed on his behalf. Going to Eataly at 9 in the morning after a red eye is what I consider rallying, by the way. Don’t know if you caught that.

Who were we kidding? We came back to the hotel and tried napping on a lobby couch, but we were quickly interrupted by a group of young professionals that decided to conduct a huddle just a few steps from us. Coffee slurping. Laptop typing. Unnecessarily enthusiastic laughter. Who needs sleep anyway? Hotel is beautiful! Very eclectic style, rooftop bar, and standard rooms that are compact, but all have nice views of the city.

When we finally checked in, we napped hard. It was the recharge we both needed before dinner and a show. Quick detail about how I had to iron a dress, but the room didn’t have an iron. The concierge let me know that irons are not available in the rooms, but can be located at “iron heavens” throughout the hotel. I didn’t feel weird about this at all. 😳

Planta Queen was delicious. We ordered mushroom sushi, Dan Dan noodles, crispy gyoza, and a cocktail called Sake It To Me, which they served in a porcelain cat. Did I get tipsy? Who’s asking? Who are you working for?!

On our way to the subway, we stumbled upon the Museum of Sex. We didn’t pay the $44 admission, but were still able to access the gift shop and bar. Where else can you get a greeting card with Harry Potter in sexy quidditch gear? Or buff Darth Vader unrobed and covered in hair?

Good Night, Oscar was incredible. I laughed. I cried. I almost fell asleep. But not because it was boring. Just because I haven’t had a full night’s rest yet. Sean – I’ll see you at the Tony’s!

After the show, we walked to Times Square because Ralph had never seen it. I took very Instagramable photos of him enjoying the sights. Saw the biggest effing rat ever in the subway station and majorly overreacted to it. Dead giveaway that I’m not a local. Shit.

Ralph was done with the vegan life and ordered himself a pizza from Lombardi’s. He’s slipping into a post-food coma as I write this and I love that for him. A wonderful first day! Until tomorrow, readers. Pictures below!

Ralph hiding the nut mess.
View from our hotel window!
Planta Queen’s Sake It To Me cocktail served in a porcelain cat. Go get one right meow.
Find you someone who looks at you the way I look at Dan Dan noodles.
Harry Potter serving up his sexiest spell.
Me outside the Belasco experiencing a childlike excitement because omg Sean Hayes.
The picture that I claimed was instagramable, but is actually really blurry 🤷🏻‍♀️
Bonus content of us purchasing nose strips at CVS.

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